The Soft Ache of Autumn
On embracing the bittersweet beauty of change and honoring the quiet medicine of Fall.
Every October, right as we shift into cooler weather, shorter days, and a kind of golden late-afternoon sun that only Fall can bring, a soft, familiar ache begins to arise.
But it’s a hard feeling to describe. For me, it’s an ever-flowing blend of longing, anticipation, melancholy, wistfulness, and bittersweetness.
It feels like a single emotion, but with many layers and nuances, all permeable and flowing into one another.
There’s an ache, a longing, a desire for…something. There’s happiness, peace, contentment, and joy. There’s grief, sadness, and melancholy. And there’s an exhale, a full body sigh as we reach the last months of the year.
The only way I can describe it is the “Feelings of Change.”
Even if we’re not personally experiencing change and transformation in our external lives, the natural world’s shifting rhythms can stir something within us. And even the crisp air seems to whisper: It’s time to let go.
The trees know. The plants know. All of Mother Nature knows it’s time to go inward. The plants begin to draw their energy downward, pulling nutrients into their roots, and trusting they will be sustained until the first brighter days of spring awaken them once again.
And if we’re looking at this through a mythological lens, this is the season when Persephone begins her descent to the underworld. And it’s during her time as Queen of Hades’ domain that the natural world above gets quiet, barren and still. It’s not until her return six months later (Spring and Summer) that the world can burst with light and life once again.
The last few days, I’ve been reflecting a lot on this “Feeling of Change” in my own life.
I don’t have massive amounts of external change in my life right now. Steady transitions, yes, but the “big life changes” happened earlier this year when I moved from Seville to San Diego.
But since Eclipse Season flowed into the Fall Equinox, I’ve been navigating more internal shifts. Quiet, subtle, but deep.
There’s been a lot of letting go. Of outdated beliefs, patterns, expectations, and stories. Releasing old identities that no longer align with where I’m going, what I’m doing and the vision I have for my future.
It feels like a lot of my own “leaves” are falling away.
And although I know this time of letting go is making room for even more beautiful blooms to appear in the near future, I also know there may be a period of stillness, pause and contraction before they arrive.
That interim might only last a few days or a few weeks, but it’s here. And it’s asking me to be present with it…not try to figure it out, rush ahead, or allow it to stop me from taking one steady, aligned step forward at a time.
There might be a slowing of momentum, but it’s all part of the plan.
And if we turn to Nature (one of my favorite teachers!), we can see this rhythm reflected to us:
The trees don’t rush to cover their bare branches.
The flowers don’t try to break too early through the frost.
The green world trusts her timing.
However, we, as humans, can struggle.
We often resist transition and life’s natural rhythms because they tend to go against what our Ego-driven minds (and society) deem as acceptable. We like momentum, forward movement, immediate proof and change that we can see instantly.
But what if we allowed our life to expand during these “ebbs,” just as much as we allow them to expand during the “flow”?
What if softening into this season, slowing down and coiling inward, could be just as soul-expanding as the bright summer months when we’re called to DO and LIVE in a higher gear?
And what if these Feelings of Change™️ (lol) aren’t something to avoid or get lost in, but simply something to feel and observe.
Trusting that what comes up emotionally doesn’t need a name or a label, but perhaps a loving hello, an acknowledgement of its existence. Trusting that what comes up is a compassionate clue as to where you might need to love and nourish your soul just a little bit more.
I believe God (Source, Divine, the Universe, Creator, etc.) gives us the medicine we need, when we need it, through the natural world.
So, look around you, in most areas of the Northern Hemisphere, we’re noticing the colors of Fall, the crisp air beckoning for the warmth of sweaters and hot tea, the smell of cinnamon and baked apples…maybe this is some of the gentle medicine we need.
And maybe, the remedy for this somewhat elusive ache of change is to embrace what is right in front of us:
🍂 A Fall-themed bouquet from the grocery store (I got a beautiful bouquet of Sunflowers the other day.)
🕯 A candle, incense or body oil that has a woodsy, spicy, earthy scent.
☕ A new tea flavor that soothes your soul (I’m in love with blending Peppermint, Tulsi and Nettle.)
🎃 A visit to your local pumpkin patch (Bonus points if you do the corn maze and an extra 50 points for Gryffindor if you actually make it out.)
🏡 Cozy music (this is one of my favorite Fall ambiance tracks), a soft blanket, and a moment of quiet reflection before bed.
Sometimes it’s the small, simple pleasures that help anchor us into a new rhythm and season of our lives. That helps us gently sit with the Feelings of Change™️, rather than run from them.
They allow us to embrace the transitions, subtle as they may be, not avoid them.
So perhaps the somewhat heavier color palette of emotions that come with the (now officially trademarked) Feelings of Change™️ is, in part, a sensitivity and reflection of this sacred, natural shift happening all around us.
It’s our soul recognizing that nothing is permanent, that life is constantly changing…and that, despite any temporary ache, can be beautiful.
Especially when we move through it with a large dose of Pumpkin Spice. And maybe some cockatiel videos on Instagram.
So this Fall, I’m honoring the feels. I’m embracing the ebb. And I’m seeing this bittersweet ache as an invitation to go deeper and give myself an extra dose of nourishment and slowness that I maybe didn’t need in the brighter summer months.
But, most importantly, I’m remembering to trust the seasons of my life as nature so fully trusts her own.
So release, root down, rest and find peace in knowing that this is a season of falling into deeper alignment.
And if you want to explore these topics even further, I have a special invitation for you…
My dear friend, Dr. Sofia Adams, is hosting a retreat next September called Root & Rise. And if the Fall and Winter months tend to feel heavier for you, this retreat will be a grounding breath of fresh air and give you the resilience and nourishment to enter these seasons with more “strength, clarity and peace.”
As Dr. Sofia shares, Root & Rise was created to help women feel deeply nourished, grounded and renewed. A 5-Day pause to allow the voice of your own soul to rise again.
I’m honored to be one of the guides at the retreat, sharing the magic of Flower Essences and how we can lean on these incredible remedies to come back home to ourselves.
Read more about “Root & Rise” here, where you’ll find more details on what each day holds, who your guides will be, and how you will be supported and nourished the whole way through. I hope to see you next September! :)
As always, come as you are and leave a little lighter.